Not Dating, Still Feeling: The Hidden Struggle
Maryanne KamMental Health & Counseling
Most people are quick to advise, “Don’t get into relationships while in campus.” But nobody really explains where all that natural affection is supposed to go. This is especially challenging considering students are exposed to people of different calibers and all walks of life. This environment often translates to an average of three new crushes every week. Since the common narrative suggests avoiding campus relationships, students are left wondering what to do. The question arises: should these feelings simply be suppressed?
Suppressing emotions may seem like a safe response, but it has significant negative psychological and physical effects. Research shows that it can increase anxiety and depression, as unexpressed feelings like fear heighten stress and contribute to mood disorders. Over time, it may lead to emotional numbing and burnout, leaving individuals feeling disconnected and exhausted. The mental effort required to suppress emotions can also impair memory, focus, and overall cognitive functioning. Additionally, it reduces resilience by overwhelming the nervous system, making it harder to cope with challenges. Unprocessed emotions often build up and may eventually result in sudden emotional outbursts. Physically, chronic suppression is linked to health issues such as high blood pressure, elevated stress hormones, and tension headaches, while behaviorally, it can lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms like substance abuse, risk-taking, or increased aggression.
Analysing the weight of suppressing your feelings, it might be actually better to take the risk and get into a campus relationship. After all, it's not guaranteed that whatever doesn't work for someone else won't work for you! Alternatively,if one chooses not to pursue relationships, the focus can shift from suppression to emotional regulation. This involves acknowledging feelings rather than denying them, and learning to sit with them without necessarily acting on them. Techniques such as journaling, writing unsent letters, or simply naming emotions can help reduce their intensity. Practicing acceptance allows individuals to recognize their emotional reality without being controlled by it. Creating healthy distance from triggers, redirecting energy toward personal growth, and building supportive social connections can also help in managing emotions constructively. If these feelings become overwhelming or begin to interfere with daily functioning, seeking professional guidance can offer deeper insight and support.


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